Susan's Response to the Purity Article

A reader submitted letter

After reading the article on sexual purity, I felt compelled to ask my husband for forgiveness for having sex before I met him, he said it didn't bother him, and that it was okay, I told him that I wasn't okay with it and I wished I hadn't, I told him, he was the only person I've wanted to marry and I had wanted to save my self for the person I wanted marry, and I knew with all the rest I didn't want to marry them, so I felt in my heart I was doing something wrong. He said if you need me to forgive you, I forgive you.

I have to say, it felt really awkward, (apologizing) I felt silly and was afraid he would make fun of it, anyway he took me really seriously and was very respectful about it I think he could really see my sincerity through the feeling silly and awkward. I think that I needed to tell him, I had wanted to be a virgin for him, even though I felt like he already knew.

When asking for forgiveness from him, I did because I felt so compelled, and out of obedience to God I guess because I felt that’s what I needed to do, after reading the article, I was not prepared for the blessing that would follow.

The next time my husband I am made love, I had forgotten all about asking him for forgiveness, etc., looking back now I can see, I was so much more relaxed, I think, I was previously subconsciously, so insecure, about all my premarital sex, I didn't want him to think that I was sluttish, etc. and I think that I thought that by being relaxed I might portray that image....I didn't even realize I was so uptight until I began to relax again after I knew he forgave me. His forgiveness meant such a lot to me, and I didn't even realize I needed to ask him for it.

I had asked for forgiveness, from God, many times, and learned a lot about forgiveness in the process, # 1. I learned that if you forgive the people, that have harmed you, then God can and will forgive you. I think that to be close to Gods heart we must be like him. I just realized something else too...when I realized I had to forgive everyone that had hurt me, I was like Woooooo! I couldn't do it, I tried but it didn't feel right, and now I realize something else, its hard to forgive someone if they aren't sorry, and I know that I have been hurt by people, and I don't know if they are sorry, I'll probably never see them again in this life, maybe I'll see them in heaven, and they'll ask me for forgiveness then, I think the point is I must be ready to forgive them, even though I may not be able to forgive them now, because how can you forgive someone who does not want your forgiveness, forgiveness is for both people, but we can't forgive people for our own selfish reasons, like oh I forgive him, just so that God will forgive me... but I think that when you look at it like that, you understand why God says you must first ask for forgiveness.

And so in conclusion to all that, I have resigned myself to begin to ready myself, to forgive those that have hurt me, and if they are in need of my forgiveness I will give it to them..... like this.... if you give a young child a gift, and the kids like what is this? I don't get it, and throws it away. I think people have to want your forgiveness in order for you to be able to give it, and all we can do in the mean time is get the gift ready, and know that we have forgiveness, and we are ready to give it when they need it.

Ultimately this article has helped me so much, it’s helped me to understand my husband better too, I learned that if I do have something serious and important to discuss with him he will take it seriously and be respectful. I'm so glad that I found your web site,

Thank you Susan for sharing your story of forgiveness with us. I am sure it will bless our readers.

Related Topics: The Coach's Notebook explores more ways to prepare for childbirth with comfort measures and techniques you can use. Prepare your physical body for childbirth with exercise and nutrition. The Christian Childbirth Resource Directory lists websites, books and organizations all created to help you honor God through childbirth. Birthing Naturally Books publishes books to help you grow closer to God during this special time of life. Find other childbirth professionals near you in the Natural Childbirth Directory.

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